A Feast for the Senses

Warning: Strong Language, Mature Themes.

A writing prompt focusing on the five senses.

Caronia is a feast for the senses. A bangling, rambling, smoking, conniving, gamboling, gesticulating, flatulating, festooning, simmering, careening stewpot of the known world. If you can’t find it in Caronia, it isn’t to be found, and if it can be found, it can be bought, and if it can be bought it can be bedazzled and then sold again at four times the price. I tell the willing rubes that I was born here and know this saucy wench of a city like the back of my own cod, but only the latter is truthfulness. I came here like all the rest with gimbals in my eyes, searching for the city of spangles and thrice-fried dumplings, and found all I was looking for and none of it. Once you shiv yourself in between her bosoms, Caronia both loves you and shits down your throat. She feeds you perfect cherries on lotus blossoms with one hand and crushes your walnuts with the other. But she’s mine and I’m hers like a bubo shaped like the Mother Mary.

The Little Mermaid Where the Mermaids are Feral and Eat Humans (4 min):

 Fun and Frisky Recent Writing Prompt.

The little mermaid sat on the sand and tears streaked down her face. She thought that it would be so much easier to catch men and eat them on land, but without her voice and her siren song, it was proving difficult to lure lone men to their deaths. She had never really cried before or felt the salty sting of the tears on her face for the ocean’s waters had always washed them away as soon as the tears left her eyes. She was marveling at the sensation when she heard a horrific noise akin to a giant squid being macerated in the jaws of an orca. She turned and saw a man stumbling down the beach towards her. After a few moments she realized that he was trying to sing. The sound hurt her ears. He got closer and then peered down at her with blurry eyes. “Well now Love, what are crying about?” A smile curled the corners of the little mermaid’s mouth. So tears will also attract men, she thought, and lunged.

The Consequences of that Demonstration for Good or Ill

Part 3 of 3 of a multipart prompt.

The smart thing to do would’ve been to laugh and give a wink towards the man who had been heckling Katrina earlier, fling the hand backstage, and then immediately pull something else out of the hat to distract the audience. That would’ve been the smart thing. What Katrina actually did was drop the hat and chuck the hand away from her as fast and as hard as she could, right into the audience. The chaos was rapid and complete. The audience was no longer an audience, it was a hysterical mob. Katrina watched in horror as grown men trampled little old ladies in their haste to get just a little bit further from the severed hand. Women screamed, some fainted, their children getting swept away in the tide of patrons trying to exit the theater. Katrina backed up slowly and slipped behind the curtain.

A Demonstration of Good Faith

Warning: Some gore.

Part 2 of a 3 part prompt.

“It’s fine, it’s fine, we just need a few more minutes.” Simon appeared way to calm for the situation.

“What am I supposed to do for a few more minutes?” Katrina threw her arms wide for emphasis.

Simon glanced around and then plucked up the blood spattered top hot. Wiping it off with the cast-offs from the “never-ending handkerchief”, he handed it to Katrina. “Magic.”

Reluctantly, she took the black hat. It was heavy, like it was filled with lead, and immediately she had to put a hand under it to keep the brim from slipping out of her grasp. “What the hell do you mean magic? I’m a stage hand, not a magician!”

A Difficult Explanation to a Suspicious Audience

Warning: Strong Language.

Part 1 of a 3 part prompt.

Simon shoved Katrina out in front of the curtain. The audience murmured in alarm under the house lights. Only a few patrons had noticed her. Fighting the urge to flee, she swallowed hard and made ready her performance voice.

“Ladies and gentlemen! Let me assure you that it is but a minor technical difficulty that is holding up our performance for you tonight, and that we are doing everything that we can to remedy the issue and continue the performance.”

The crowd quieted some, but not everyone was satisfied.

“That guy lost a hand! I saw it! How’s he going to do the rest of the magic show with one hand!?”

Katrina stiffened, but kept the placating smile on her face. “Sir, please. A minor technical difficulty is what we are dealing with.”

“Minor amputation is more like it!”

“Please, sirs, ladies, take you seats. I assure you that the performance will be continuing in just a few moments. Thank you for your patience.” Katrina ducked back behind the curtain. “Dammit Simon! They’re not buying it.”

The Person Finally Arrives at Their Destination but is Disappointed or Surprised by What They Find There

Part 3 of 3 of a multi-part prompt in which the heroine attempts to find her own adventure.

I sprinted away from the grinning, stripy, half-cat through the trees, wincing as the pain in my ankle increased exponentially. Finally, unable to run any longer, I stumbled to a stop in a clearing and sat on a felled tree. Elevating my ankle onto the tree, I decided here would be an okay place to rest until I found my adventure. Maybe, my ankle would be better in the morning. A man hiked out of the woods across the clearing from me. He was tall, dark, and handsome. Now this would be okay, I could do with a little prince charming, I thought. He saw me and stopped.

“Oh no, you must get away from here, run!”

“What?”

He doubled over in pain and then fell to the ground. I tiptoed over to him, and heard a growl. It was then that I noticed the large, white full-moon above the trees. And then I noticed sharp teeth.

The Person Struggles to Get Back on the Road

Part 2 of 3 of a multi-part writing prompt in which our heroine attempts to find her own adventure.

“Can I get you a cup of tea?” asked the caterpillar.
“Definitely not. I better go before the lawyers come.”
“Suit yourself.”
I struggled back out the door and left the labyrinth behind me. My ankle still stung, but I had to get going or I would never get to my adventure. The woods ahead were dark and deep, but there was a well-kept path between the giant gnarled trunks. A little ways along I even found a good walking stick to help keep the weight off of my ankle. Time wore on and the path wandered until finally giving up the goat and disappearing altogether.
“Uh oh.”
“What’s the matter?”
I looked around but saw no one.
“Who said that?”
“Why, I did.”
I finally spied a pair of eyes and a wide white-toothed smile in the crook of a nearby tree.
“Oh no.”
“What’s the problem?” asked the Cheshire cat becoming more corporeal by the second.
“I’ve lost my way.”
“Impossible. All the ways around here belong-“
“-To the queen of hearts, I know, I know. Crap.”

A Person Sets Out on a Long Journey, but the Journey is Interrupted

Part 1 of 3 of a multi-part writing prompt in which our heroine attempts to find her own adventure.

They say every journey begins with the first step. Well I took that first step, twisted my ankle and fell into a mud puddle. Some adventurer I was. As I sat on a rock rubbing my ankle a brightly colored caterpillar sidled up beside me.
“Good Morning!”
“Don’t know what’s so good about it.”
“Awe, don’t talk like that, Miss. The clouds have gone away and soon the sun will dry that muddy water in your hair right up.”
“Great.”
The caterpillar began whistling a jaunty tune.
“Um, can you not do that,” I said putting a little weight on my ankle to test it and being rewarded with a stabbing pain. “I’m really not in the mood.”
“Fine, fine.”
I began limping away.
“Er, don’t mean to be nosy, but where are you off to?”
“I’m trying to get to the castle beyond the goblin city,” I said.
“Oooh dear.”
“What?”
“Nothing, it’s just that, well, you can’t get there from here.”
I hobbled back over to the caterpillar.
“Why not?”
“Well, for one thing, it’s copyright infringement.”
I looked around at the setting and the glittery, high stone walls.
“I see your point.”

The Other Person Goes East, Looking for Something They’d Lost

Part 3 of 3 of a multi-part prompt that I made into an homage for Ian Tregillis's latest angelic noir novel Something More Than Night.

I didn’t want to take the sword, but Gabriel isn’t a Seraphim you argue with, so I took it and stowed it before my jitters could unmake a sound principle of physics.

“Where are you off to?”

Gabriel looked beyond me to the rising of a hundred million suns. “I must fortify the essence of religious sanctity, make pure the rivulets of undying devotion, and find my car keys.”

“I thought you said that this wasn’t a time for jokes, Sir.”

Gabriel turned his gazes back to me. “Who’s joking?”

With that he vanished and took a small child’s wonder with him. Having no intention of actually braving the deeps, I decided to camp out a while in the dark matter on the metaphoric end of the spectral universe.

The First Person Goes South, Taking Something They Shouldn’t Have

Part 2 of 3 of a multi-part prompt that I made an homage to Ian Tregillis's latest angelic noir novel, Something More Than Night.

Gabriel gave me that look he has, you know, the one that begets fusion and melts crusts of planets. I didn’t like that look.

“Sir?”

He put a talon on my shoulder or what would have been my shoulder if I actually had shoulders. His mere touch buzzed through me like lightning cutting through atoms to make ozone.

“We need you to infiltrate the Deeps, Thuriel. We must have the first strike.”

I’m not much of a hard hitter by way of angelic beings, I’m more of a weaver of mathematical improbabilities, so Gabriel’s words unnerved me. They caused a gaping maw of fear to open in my representation of guts, but I plastered it over with indignation.

“Uh, why me, Boss? I don’t even own a flaming sword.”

Gabriel reached into robes glowing with the light of a thousand dying planets and withdrew a sword swathed in flames brighter than the plasma in the center of a baby star.

“Here, take mine.”
.

Two People Standing at a Crossroads Taking Care of Business

This is part one of three writing prompts, and an homage to author Ian Tregillis's latest novel Something More Than Night.

We stood at the crossroads of interplanetary dissonance and quadrilateral harmony. It was nice there. Despite the nomenclature, interplanetary dissonance can sound quite beautiful at times. But Gabriel wasn’t there for the ambiance. He was all business, though his feathers beat in time to the pulsing of the nearest quasar.
 
“Thuriel, what have you to report?”
 
“The outer reaches of mortal trimaterial thought processes are secure. There will be no breech from there, Sir.”
 
“What of the motes of carbon between the toes of the Precambrian era?”
 
“Tight as a cheerleader’s sweater.”
 
Gabriel raised an angelic eyebrow at me. “You’ve been spending way too much time on the mortal plane.” He shook his head and somewhere a newborn nebula was blown back into disparate particles. “But this is no time for jests. The demons are poised and ready to strike and we must bar them from objective reality in any way that we can.”

Nature Abhors a Vacuum: A Murder Mystery (part 35)

A serialized science-fiction mystery created exclusively for this blog! When last we left our heroine, Pip, along with the rest of the captives, had been tossed through the Confluence by the surprisingly helpful Nib. Now, she returns to the world she knows--or at least, some version thereof. This is the last installment. Thanks for reading, everyone!

Marjorie Loft just wanted a quiet evening at home. She'd unplugged the TV, taken the phone off the hook, and locked the dog in the bathroom. She'd finished her daily housekeeping in record time--dishes, laundry, toilet. Her arthritic hands still ached from the effort.

It would be worth the pain, she'd thought at the time, to have an hour or two of sedate nothingness at the end of it all. She wouldn't meditate. She wouldn't unwind with a novel. She would simply sit and stare at the wall. It was an activity Marjorie often indulged in, the appeal of which spoke volumes for her deprived childhood. She was looking forward to indulging in it again.

Then she remembered: next week was her nephew's birthday. With a sigh, she fetched her knitting needles.

She didn't know why she bothered making presents for him. It wasn't as if they got along. He was, quite simply, a dreadful child. He punched cats, threw rocks at cars, and called his parents the N-word. Once he'd gotten Marjorie arrested at the mall.

"Help!" he'd squealed, while Marjorie held fast to his wrist and tried desperately to shush him. "I don't know this person! This person is not my mother! Somebody call the police!"

Nature Abhors a Vacuum: A Murder Mystery (part 34)

Warning: Strong Language, Mature Themes, Graphic Violence

A serialized science-fiction mystery created exclusively for this blog! When last we left our heroine, Pip and company had fought their way to the Confluence with the aid of a severed tentacle. Now, they face a final stand-off against George Lugner and his detachment of pistol-wielding aliens. Not everyone will come out alive...

"Well, George," said Eddie. "It looks like you've got yourself an army."

There was mockery in his voice, but it sounded forced. Standing at the business end of more than a dozen pistols was unnerving. The only encouraging factor was the Nib, who looked equally unnerved. One of them was even sniffling as his body went ashy gray. He had the gun cupped in his tentacle like an apple--a rotten one he was desperate to dispose of.

George Lugner must have seen the bemused look on Pip's face, because he hastened to reassure her: "They can use them. Their ancestors conquered all of Sagittarius with weapons like these." He gave the gray Nib a look that was at once solicitous and threatening. "Didn't they, Kirar'nib?"

"Mm-hmm," said Kirar'nib miserably.

"Nine hundred yearz ago," murmured the green Nib standing beside him. Realizing Lugner had overheard her, she stiffened and immediately backtracked. "Piztolz have been refurbished, zir! Good working order, juzt like you azk."

Nature Abhors a Vacuum: A Murder Mystery (part 33)

Warning: Graphic Violence

A serialized science-fiction mystery created exclusively for this blog! When last we left our heroine, Pip--along with Charles, Masha, and Duncan--had survived the sadistic experiment that claimed her ex-boyfriend's life. Now, having run into Eddie and the rest of her fellow captives, she fights her way to the Confluence.

"Eddie!" said Pip.

"Pip!" said Eddie.

"Eddie!" said Masha.

"Masha!" said Eddie.

"Eddie?" said Charles.

"Who the hell are you?" said Eddie.

"Stop zere!" shouted Lirma'nib, flailing her appendages at Eddie and the Dredmillon's entire human population, which stood huddled behind him. With an instinctive alacrity that would have put a juggler to shame, she snatched at all escapees within her grasp. Eddie leapt aside and the tip of a tentacle brushed his face, leaving a viscous streak across the bridge of her nose. Pip was seized by the neck, Duncan by the waist, Masha by the shoulder. Charles dove at Lirma'nib as if to tackle her and was immediately engulfed by her gelatinous trunk. The Nib wrapped an appendage around each of his legs and pressed him further inward, smothering him against her body.

Nature Abhors a Vacuum: A Murder Mystery (part 32)

Warning: Strong Language, Mature Themes, Graphic Violence

A serialized science-fiction mystery created exclusively for this blog! When last we left our heroine, Pip had found her brother aboard the Dredmillon. Now, Lirma'nib offers to set Duncan free--but only if Pip participates in a sadistic "experiment." Note: I included the "Mature Themes" and "Graphic Violence" warnings to be safe. I don't think anything in here is too terribly explicit. It might, however, be a little disturbing.

"You know zizz perzon, yez?" Lirma'nib openly drank in Pip's astonishment: the widening of her eyes, the clenching of her fists, the soft "oh" that gusted from her gaping mouth. The alien was studying her reaction with as much care as a scientist bent over a Petri dish. Part of Pip rebelled against the scrutiny, but that part was so quiet as to be almost sub-vocal. Her mind was occupied with other things.

Like the man in front of her, whom she did in fact know. Very well. In the Biblical sense, even. He shuffled across the floor like a zombie in a white shift until he reached Duncan's chair. There he stopped, turned, and raised his head to look at Pip.

Pip gasped again. He did not look well.

"Ron," she said. "What are you doing here?"

Nature Abhors a Vacuum: A Murder Mystery (part 31)

A serialized science-fiction mystery created exclusively for this blog! When last we left our heroine, Pip had confronted a vengeful George Lugner and been reunited with Charles. Now, Charles takes her and Masha to the place where Duncan is being held. What they find when they arrive is not what they expected.

"You have a lot of explaining to do," Pip said as she balanced precariously on the back of a bicycle seat. Charles was standing to give her more room and to apply more force to the pedals, which were difficult to turn beneath the weight of three people. Masha sat on the handlebars, one leg propped on either side of the clip-on flashlight that was their only source of illumination in the darkened corridors of the Dredmillon.

The arrangement was every bit as preposterous as it looked and only marginally faster than walking. Pip had advised Charles to ditch the bike, but he had refused. He'd been glued to it ever since he's found it in the debris catch. It seemed to serve as a security blanket, a token of familiarity amid the absolute weirdness of their surroundings.

Charles nodded. "I know," he panted. "The only question is where to begi-"

THWACK. The bicycle careened into a wall, sending its occupants sprawling.

Nature Abhors a Vacuum: A Murder Mystery (part 30)

A serialized science-fiction mystery created exclusively for this blog! When last we left our heroine, Pip had searched high and low for her brother with little success, hindered by her lack of tentacles and the overly-curious Nib. Now, with the ship on lockdown and Charles on the loose, she confronts a vengeful George Lugner.

"Charlie," Pip said, a half-second before the Nib burst into a frenzy of hushed buzzing. They'd forgotten all about Pip and Masha. Likewise, Pip had forgotten all about them.

"Charlie!" she shouted. "Charlie, we're here!"

She groped in the dark for Masha's hand, catching several tentacles before she finally found it. Then, with a tug that caused Masha to cry out, Pip began dragging her through the crowd. They shoved and jostled amid the sea of viscous bodies. The Nib didn't seem to notice. Perhaps, in light of more interesting developments, they simply didn't care.

Pip broke free of the crowd and started running.

Nature Abhors a Vacuum: A Murder Mystery (part 29)

A serialized science-fiction mystery created exclusively for this blog! When last we left our heroine, Pip had escaped her artificial habitat and caught a glimpse of her brother among the alien horde. Now, she and Masha search for Duncan and for a way home. Things get complicated when the ship goes on lockdown.

Suddenly, the corridor erupted with sound. Shrill semitones pummeled each other, raising such a dissonant clangor that Pip squatted down and covered her ears.

The crowd stilled. Excitement drained from Nib faces like helium from a punctured balloon. Grumbling, they began to shuffle off in different directions.

"Where are you going?" Pip asked them, shouting over the din.

"Work work work," one of them said.

"Work work work," another echoed, gesturing toward a round speaker in the ceiling. "Thizz zound meanzz break over. Now all Nib izz working."

Seconds later, the noise died off and silence fell over a newly abandoned corridor. Pip uncovered her ears and shook her head to stop it ringing.

"You okay?" she asked Masha.

Nature Abhors a Vacuum: A Murder Mystery (part 28)

A serialized science-fiction mystery created exclusively for this blog! When last we left our heroine, Pip had been languishing in the artificial environment provided by her alien captors. Now, she and Masha escape, and Pip catches a brief glimpse of the one person she's been hoping to find.

Pip took the unusual step of announcing her escape before she made it.

"I'm going to escape," she told Eddie while gnawing on a raw potato. She'd temporarily broken her fast, in the interest of building strength for the coming ordeal.

Eddie rolled his eyes. "I could tell you not to bother, but you wouldn't listen. Everyone tries it some time."

"Even you?"

"Especially me." Eddie shook his head. "Four times. And look at me. I'm still here."

Pip spent a few moments considering this. She bit off a mouthful of potato. Chewed thoroughly. Swallowed. "So you don't have any advice," she said.

Nature Abhors a Vacuum: A Murder Mystery (part 27)

Warning: Strong Language

A serialized science-fiction mystery created exclusively for this blog! When last we left our heroine, Pip had pumped Eddie Schulz--the original one--for information about their strange shared home. Now, she befriends the other inmates and struggles not to fall into despair. An escape attempt is pending...

The park inmates--just under a dozen, Pip saw, now that they were gathered together--ambled toward the noise. There was indeed a steel door. It sat in one of the towering white walls like a security gate at a suburban Home Depot. As it rose, it revealed a metal cart flanked by two Nib. The one on the right was larger, firmer, and orange in hue. The one on the left was a mound of gelatinous ecru.

"Hello!" the orange one chirped. "Pleaze to be eating now."

"Pleaze to be eating now," the other echoed in a voice that sounded like an obese man squirming around in a vinyl chair.

They prisoners held out their hands to receive their rations: two uncooked potatoes, a fistful of cabbage, and a strip of jerky. The Nib divvied up the vittles with casual precision, seemingly unconcerned that the steel door was still wide open behind them.

Pip looked at Eddie. "Aren't they worried that someone will make a break for it?" she murmured.